I know so many women who allow their joy to be sucked away by men. They are not in abusive or bad relationships–they simply are not in a relationship at all and they are lost, they have no identity, they often don’t even have much of a personality because they are just waiting for prince charming to ride up and reveal their fate. She wants to find herself in him.
I know so many men who find their identity in independence, in searching for themselves and trying to fit in with other men. So many men who are just looking for a place to belong, sold on being strong enough, afraid to give or feel or love.
There is a girl who I know who is completely in love with this boy. She wants him to love her more than anything. She also claims to love Jesus but I am not convinced. I think she likes Jesus and she knows about Him. But I don’t think she wants him as much as she wants this boy. If you talk with her, she’s funny and cute but there’s a general feeling that she isn’t positive of who she is, she’s uncomfortable with herself. You can tell that she does not feel valuable or confident. I think that if God took the boy away, she would have nothing and have to go searching for herself again. This is everywhere. I probably know ten or twelve girls like this.
Low self-esteem is pride. Arrogance is pride. Thinking that you are important is pride. It’s all a matter of worshiping something that is not God, ultimately it is worshiping self. Thinking that you are important. Prideful idolatry keeps us from really finding ourselves in our Creator. Instead of finding ourselves somewhere or in someone, we must bind ourselves to Him.
Proper view of God results in a proper view of self. We are only important by His grace and it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with Him. It is important to keep view of self as an important concept in youth ministry. We often put it on a shelf with Creation, Image, and the Gospel in favor of addressing more trendy topics.
When you’re talking with or observing a kid, you can pick up on it very easily. Where do you see arrogance? Where do you see low self-esteem. What are they hiding behind there? Bad relationships with parents? Hurt from a broken relationship? Abuse? What is getting in the way of this kid having a proper view of God?
Are you arrogant? Do you struggle with low self-esteem? Do you think that you are important? Does your importance determine your value or success? Where does your strength, your success, your value, and your identity come from? If God took everything away from you, would you still have something?
Oh, God, bind my wandering heart to thee.